For Christmas, my husband bought me the book Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman. I’ve been so inspired by this family since their tragic accident, and even more so this year when Allan and I had a chance to see them in concert a few months back. For those of you who may not know, Steven Curtis Chapman is a well-known Christian singer/songwriter. I’ve been listening to his music since I started attending a Christian school in seventh grade. I was always moved by Steven and his wife Mary Beth’s story of adoption. After they had three children, they decided to adopt three girls from China. On May of 2008, a tragic car accident took the life of their youngest adopted daughter, Maria. Their son Will was driving the SUV that hit Maria (You can watch a recent interview with the Chapman family on Good Morning America by clicking here). From the day of this terrible accident, this family has constantly poured out to others with their songs and stories of HOPE that they have gained through their darkest moments. Mary Beth published an autobiography that described the journey of her life, and how she had seen God’s hand every step of the way. No words would give justice to how inspired I was. I read it in three days (it would have been one day if I didn’t have two girls to take care of!).
She was brutally honest and open in her book. She described her pain in such authentic and tangible ways. I cried a lot (sometimes uncontrollably), but her sense of humor also made me laugh out loud many times. Her message was clear: the pain is REAL. It hurts. Many times, it’s unbearable. But because she has God, she has true HOPE. She can choose to SEE this hope in midst of her pain.
When Allan and I saw them in concert, Steven sang a very well-known hymn, “It Is Well with My Soul.”
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Steven also shared the history behind this hymn. The writer of this hymn, Horatio Gates Spafford, had received news that his four daughters were killed in a shipwreck. While sailing across the Atlantic to reunite with his wife (the only survivor in his family from the wreck), he was shown the place where his daughters had died. He then went into his cabin and penned the words above.
It’s hard to believe that someone can truly say, “It is well with my soul,” after such tragedy. Yet after reading Mary Beth’s book, along with other stories of real hope I’ve encountered, and even reflecting on my own life, I know without a doubt that it was not a fake front that Spafford was trying to display. Even in midst of the most unthinkable pain, even when you don’t know if you can breathe, there is hope that can only come from God. It surpasses human logic. It surpasses all the painful emotions. It’s rooted in the deepest part of our being…that’s the part that he knew was going to be OK. Why? Because God dwells in that deepest place, along with all that comes with Him (His peace, His strength, and even His joy). It doesn’t mean it won't be difficult, but God provides the strength. It doesn’t mean it won’t be painful, but God provides the comfort. It doesn’t mean there won’t be despair, but God provides the HOPE. There’s a voice that’s louder than the pain that says, “You are mine. I am with you. You are going to be okay.” How do I know this? Because although I have not experienced pain to such depth, I too have heard this same voice many times…and it’s been more real to me than anything I’ve heard with my ears.
In her book, Mary Beth constantly shared how she had to choose to SEE this truth, even in midst of darkness. The pain is not something she’ll ever get over, but she’ll get through it. She recently posted this in her blog: “My heart is broken, cracked and glued back together and the process hurts! Maria is my baby, and I’m temporarily living this Earthly life without her. On any given day, it still takes my breath away, and on any given day, I don’t want to get up. I’ve been mad, mean, angry and fist shaking still, and still, I have a patient Heavenly Father pursuing me and healing me bit by bit. That is what gives me the Hope to put one foot in front of the other, and walk towards heaven. I’m on my way Maria, I can’t wait to SEE you and all that slobber you took with you. The tears still come, and my heart still broke, but I am claiming the truth that I will SEE you again.”
This song that Steven wrote after their loss brings me to tears every time:
“Just Have To Wait” (words and music by Steven Curtis Chapman)
Well, I can't wait to SEE your smile again,
The one when your eyes disappear along with all my troubles
And I can't wait to hear you sing a song
Maybe “Jesus Loves Me” or a song you learned up there
I can't wait to hear your mama laugh
The way that only you can make her laugh when you get silly
And I can't wait to SEE you in her arms
I know the wound so deep inside her heart is healed for good
And I can't wait to dance with you again
Knowing that this time we dance, we'll never have to end
And I can't wait to SEE your sisters play
The way they do when all of you are playing all together
I can't wait to watch your brother's face
When he can finally SEE with his own eyes
Everything's okay
But I, oh, I just have to wait
'Cause I know that day is coming
So I, oh, I just have to wait
My prayer is that whoever is reading this…that you truly have this HOPE that goes beyond yourself and this world. Hope that you can cling on to, even in your darkest hours. This hope has a name…His name is Jesus.
PS. I will be posting my final post for this blog soon. I plan to start another one in February (which will include the stories of FaithHopeLove that I mentioned a few posts back).
Showing posts with label Strength. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Strength. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Loss of Focus
Ephesians 1:11 (The Message): It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.
Well this last month showed how I can be when I don't rely on God to keep me in the right focus. I did exactly what I said we shouldn't do in my last post (which I had actually written at beginning of November). Since then, I became consumed in the busyness of the holiday chaos and lost sight of what's really important. Things were going well until the Be Her Freedom Run. I had a great run, and I was determined to keep the right perspective as I entered the holiday season. I then went into a "vacation mode" when my hubby went away to deer camp and my best friend from college came to visit for a week. That was a fun week. After she left, my hubby returned, and life went back into the routine. Instead of regaining my focus though, I found myself getting overwhelmed in all my everyday affairs. I don't even know all of what took place; I blinked and now we're way into December.
During this past month, I'm sad to say, I did not spend my daily time with God and His Word. I stopped going to the gym, which was usually time spent not only releasing my stress by exercising, but also gaining some valuable insights and wisdom through the podcasts I'd listen to. I basically became unplugged to the True Source (as the verse above says) of who I am and what I'm living for. And it showed. I knew something was seriously wrong when my husband humbly suggested that we should reexamine our daily tasks, because the stress is getting to me too much. I was very irritable and short with everyone around me. I became stressed way too quickly and easily. I had no peace. This is who I am when I'm unplugged from my Source, when my focus is off the eternal perspective and purpose.
I became consumed with all the temporary things. I hated that our house is not as festively decorated as others. I felt so guilty that a year later, our youngest LittleBit's room was still not decorated. I felt that I needed more clothes for myself and nicer things for our house. All of a sudden, there were so many things "lacking." What a difference from when I wrote this post: My Wish List. I also began to take it out on my family. I grew up as an only child, always having control of my surroundings. I became angry every time I couldn't have complete control because one of my children did something unexpectedly.
This is who I am without Jesus. I'm a mess. I'm an unhealthy perfectionist who also expects too much from others. I'm a spaz attack waiting to happen. I'm too tense and stressed out. I'm so thankful that my husband was honest enough to raise the red flag. It's never fun to have your faults be noticed (especially for a perfectionist), but it was much needed. We talked about it, we examined it, and we came up with some changes we need to make. I began to regain my focus. I opened up my Bible this morning, and these were the words that I read:
Ephesians 1:15-19 (The Message): I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!
How Great is my God. Thank You, Jesus, that You are always my source…of wisdom and strength and purpose. Even when I lose sight, You always bring me back to You. In You I always find who I am really meant to be.
PS. In midst of all this, perhaps due to the stress, I've been having trouble keeping weight on. I know that many would consider this a good problem to have, but as most of you know, I don't have much weight I can afford to lose. We're trying to figure out a right diet for me to gain more calories. I'd appreciate your prayers.
Well this last month showed how I can be when I don't rely on God to keep me in the right focus. I did exactly what I said we shouldn't do in my last post (which I had actually written at beginning of November). Since then, I became consumed in the busyness of the holiday chaos and lost sight of what's really important. Things were going well until the Be Her Freedom Run. I had a great run, and I was determined to keep the right perspective as I entered the holiday season. I then went into a "vacation mode" when my hubby went away to deer camp and my best friend from college came to visit for a week. That was a fun week. After she left, my hubby returned, and life went back into the routine. Instead of regaining my focus though, I found myself getting overwhelmed in all my everyday affairs. I don't even know all of what took place; I blinked and now we're way into December.
During this past month, I'm sad to say, I did not spend my daily time with God and His Word. I stopped going to the gym, which was usually time spent not only releasing my stress by exercising, but also gaining some valuable insights and wisdom through the podcasts I'd listen to. I basically became unplugged to the True Source (as the verse above says) of who I am and what I'm living for. And it showed. I knew something was seriously wrong when my husband humbly suggested that we should reexamine our daily tasks, because the stress is getting to me too much. I was very irritable and short with everyone around me. I became stressed way too quickly and easily. I had no peace. This is who I am when I'm unplugged from my Source, when my focus is off the eternal perspective and purpose.
I became consumed with all the temporary things. I hated that our house is not as festively decorated as others. I felt so guilty that a year later, our youngest LittleBit's room was still not decorated. I felt that I needed more clothes for myself and nicer things for our house. All of a sudden, there were so many things "lacking." What a difference from when I wrote this post: My Wish List. I also began to take it out on my family. I grew up as an only child, always having control of my surroundings. I became angry every time I couldn't have complete control because one of my children did something unexpectedly.
This is who I am without Jesus. I'm a mess. I'm an unhealthy perfectionist who also expects too much from others. I'm a spaz attack waiting to happen. I'm too tense and stressed out. I'm so thankful that my husband was honest enough to raise the red flag. It's never fun to have your faults be noticed (especially for a perfectionist), but it was much needed. We talked about it, we examined it, and we came up with some changes we need to make. I began to regain my focus. I opened up my Bible this morning, and these were the words that I read:
Ephesians 1:15-19 (The Message): I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!
How Great is my God. Thank You, Jesus, that You are always my source…of wisdom and strength and purpose. Even when I lose sight, You always bring me back to You. In You I always find who I am really meant to be.
PS. In midst of all this, perhaps due to the stress, I've been having trouble keeping weight on. I know that many would consider this a good problem to have, but as most of you know, I don't have much weight I can afford to lose. We're trying to figure out a right diet for me to gain more calories. I'd appreciate your prayers.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Whispers of His Love
Here is another article I wrote for our MOPS newsletter. It was a crazy summer, and I wasn't able to blog as much as I wanted to. I'm hoping to spend more time blogging as we enter into a new routine for the fall.
Isaiah 30:15 (New International Version): In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.
I had a classic stressed-out-mommy-moment the other day. I was on my way home with my girls after grocery shopping, and it was approaching their naptime. Some of the groceries needed to go in the fridge immediately, the baby needed to be fed, and the toddler needed to go down for a nap – fast. Did I also mention how hungry I was? They all required my attention simultaneously. Since I’m not so gifted in multi-tasking, I sort of panicked and felt lost on what to do first. As always, I turned to God. He gave me the right perspective: “Just breathe, do one thing at a time, and remember that in Me you have all the wisdom and strength you need.” God whispered His love to me as I prayed.
A friend from church recently delivered her first baby. Shortly after this joyous occasion, she was told that she had cancer. She had to send her newborn baby home with other family members, while she stayed at the hospital to begin her battle with cancer. She is starting a blog about walking this journey with God’s strength and grace. Whether we are facing numerous mundane tasks or one giant trial, we all need God’s love to rescue us from our troubles.
God does not shout His love at us. God asks us to be still (cease striving) and to be in tune to hearing His whispers of love. It may be in a song we hear. It may be in a smile we receive from our kids. It may be in a kiss from our husbands. It may be in an encouraging note from a friend. It may be in the comfort and peace we receive when we cry out to Him…literally. When was the last time you noticed God whispering His love to you? Remember these moments, and look for these moments next time you face any kind of trouble. Our loving Father longs to quiet us with His love (Zeph 3:17), just as we as moms long to quiet our little ones with our love.
Most importantly, the Bible is God’s love letter to us. We can always turn to it and read about how much He loves us. “The righteous person has many troubles, but the Lord rescues him from all of them” (Psalm 34:19). “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love which Christ Jesus our Lord shows us” (Romans 8:38). “For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations” (Psalm 100:5). Bible is clear: God’s love is everlasting. God’s grace is sufficient. God is our ever-present help. God is our strong tower. God is love.
Isaiah 30:18, 19 (New International Version): Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
Isaiah 30:15 (New International Version): In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.
I had a classic stressed-out-mommy-moment the other day. I was on my way home with my girls after grocery shopping, and it was approaching their naptime. Some of the groceries needed to go in the fridge immediately, the baby needed to be fed, and the toddler needed to go down for a nap – fast. Did I also mention how hungry I was? They all required my attention simultaneously. Since I’m not so gifted in multi-tasking, I sort of panicked and felt lost on what to do first. As always, I turned to God. He gave me the right perspective: “Just breathe, do one thing at a time, and remember that in Me you have all the wisdom and strength you need.” God whispered His love to me as I prayed.
A friend from church recently delivered her first baby. Shortly after this joyous occasion, she was told that she had cancer. She had to send her newborn baby home with other family members, while she stayed at the hospital to begin her battle with cancer. She is starting a blog about walking this journey with God’s strength and grace. Whether we are facing numerous mundane tasks or one giant trial, we all need God’s love to rescue us from our troubles.
God does not shout His love at us. God asks us to be still (cease striving) and to be in tune to hearing His whispers of love. It may be in a song we hear. It may be in a smile we receive from our kids. It may be in a kiss from our husbands. It may be in an encouraging note from a friend. It may be in the comfort and peace we receive when we cry out to Him…literally. When was the last time you noticed God whispering His love to you? Remember these moments, and look for these moments next time you face any kind of trouble. Our loving Father longs to quiet us with His love (Zeph 3:17), just as we as moms long to quiet our little ones with our love.
Most importantly, the Bible is God’s love letter to us. We can always turn to it and read about how much He loves us. “The righteous person has many troubles, but the Lord rescues him from all of them” (Psalm 34:19). “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love which Christ Jesus our Lord shows us” (Romans 8:38). “For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations” (Psalm 100:5). Bible is clear: God’s love is everlasting. God’s grace is sufficient. God is our ever-present help. God is our strong tower. God is love.
Isaiah 30:18, 19 (New International Version): Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Lamentations 3:22-26 (New International Version): Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
I cannot believe it has been three weeks since my last post. My goal was to blog a post every week, but as always, I accomplish about half the things on my "To Do" list everyday. I'm finally forcing myself to take a moment to blog. I wanted to blog an update on the prayer requests I posted regarding Health and Finances (with a big THANK YOU to those who have been praying for our family).
We've been free of any kind of sickness for a few weeks now (except for minor allergy issues...but that just comes with living in Florida). Peanut has not brought any bugs home lately; LittleBit had her four-month check-up and seemed to be in top condition. Praise God for a sick-free household!
Things have turned around for the better in our finances as well. Thanks to the tax credit for new homebuyers that ended in April, Allan was super busy in real estate towards end of the month. Our home-based business is on the upswing as well. I was planning on not going back to my part-time job until the fall semester, because I didn't think there would be a class time for the summer that fits with my nursing schedule. However, as always, God surprised me by surpassing my expectations. Out of the blue, my dean called me and asked if I wanted to teach a class that could not have fit my schedule any better. It will just be one class, but right now we welcome any additional income God brings our way (not to mention it will be a nice two-hour getaway for me twice a week to play a different role than Mommy).
God's faithfulness has never failed me. I knew this time would not be different, and God came through yet again. My appreciation and my awe of Him continue to grow, and grow, and grow. That's what I love about my relationship with Him. Because of how He had carried me through every trial in the past, I have strength, faith, and hope that allow me to endure every new trial. But at the end of the tunnel of my new trial, I find myself in even greater state of faith and thankfulness. No matter how much faith and appreciation I've built up to this point, there's always room for growth and expansion. It is truly an extraordinary adventure. I desire no other way to live.
A famous hymn describes perfectly what's on my heart today.
Great is Thy Faithfulness (lyrics by Thomas Chisholm)
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my father!
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not:
As thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness,
Morning by morning new mercies I see:
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth.
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
I cannot believe it has been three weeks since my last post. My goal was to blog a post every week, but as always, I accomplish about half the things on my "To Do" list everyday. I'm finally forcing myself to take a moment to blog. I wanted to blog an update on the prayer requests I posted regarding Health and Finances (with a big THANK YOU to those who have been praying for our family).
We've been free of any kind of sickness for a few weeks now (except for minor allergy issues...but that just comes with living in Florida). Peanut has not brought any bugs home lately; LittleBit had her four-month check-up and seemed to be in top condition. Praise God for a sick-free household!
Things have turned around for the better in our finances as well. Thanks to the tax credit for new homebuyers that ended in April, Allan was super busy in real estate towards end of the month. Our home-based business is on the upswing as well. I was planning on not going back to my part-time job until the fall semester, because I didn't think there would be a class time for the summer that fits with my nursing schedule. However, as always, God surprised me by surpassing my expectations. Out of the blue, my dean called me and asked if I wanted to teach a class that could not have fit my schedule any better. It will just be one class, but right now we welcome any additional income God brings our way (not to mention it will be a nice two-hour getaway for me twice a week to play a different role than Mommy).
God's faithfulness has never failed me. I knew this time would not be different, and God came through yet again. My appreciation and my awe of Him continue to grow, and grow, and grow. That's what I love about my relationship with Him. Because of how He had carried me through every trial in the past, I have strength, faith, and hope that allow me to endure every new trial. But at the end of the tunnel of my new trial, I find myself in even greater state of faith and thankfulness. No matter how much faith and appreciation I've built up to this point, there's always room for growth and expansion. It is truly an extraordinary adventure. I desire no other way to live.
A famous hymn describes perfectly what's on my heart today.
Great is Thy Faithfulness (lyrics by Thomas Chisholm)
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my father!
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not:
As thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness,
Morning by morning new mercies I see:
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!
Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth.
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Sweet Confirmation
Well, just as I was the last one in the family to catch the stomach bug, it turned out that I was the last one in the family to catch this cold virus. As a mother I've learned that what's almost as difficult to experience as taking care of a sick child is myself being sick when I have children to feed and care for. The worst of the storm was yesterday for me, and thankfully, I'm feeling much better today.
Needless to say, we are still in midst of the trials I mentioned in my last post. This week, as I continued to seek God through these trials, He gave me some sweet confirmations (or encouragement) to let me know that I was on the right track, that I was handling these current situations exactly the way He wants me to.
On Wednesday, I attended our weekly Celebration Sisterhood gathering at church. Pastor Kerri spoke on the topic of endurance. Every major point she challenged us with during the message was something I experienced this past week. The following is a summary of her message and how each point related to me personally (which are typed in italics):
Endurance = not just the ability to bear the hard thing, but to turn it into glory. Quote from my last post: "this season will prove to be another testimony of His faithfulness to me."
Hebrews 12:1 (New King James Version): let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
We must set ourselves to finish strong in this race.
In order to finish strong, we should ask ourselves these five questions.
Q1 - What am I thinking about? Am I filling my mind with doubt, fear, and worry, or am I filling my mind with what are listed in Philippians 4:8 (things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and of good report)? I've been making a conscious effort to focus on the goodness of God, with childlike faith, instead of letting worry take control of my mind.
Q2 - Who am I listening to? I must abide in Jesus and His Word (John 8:31-32). When I feel overwhelmed with our situation, instead of calling a trusted friend/family immediately, I first ran to Jesus and His Word. I've also stayed away from social networking this week, and except on the days I was sick, I've been spending time with God and His Word first thing in the morning, before anyone else in the house was awake.
Q3 - What am I talking about? Am I speaking words of faith; am I confessing my hope in God (Heb 10:23)? I've been using this blog as one of the primary ways to express God's faithfulness to me.
Q4 - Where am I going? Am I planted in the house of God (Psalm 92:12-15)? Even if I wasn't feeling 100%, I made sure to make it to both Celebration Sisterhood meetings this week.
Q5 - What am I remembering? Instead of looking back, focus my eyes on where I'm headed (Philip 3:12-14). But if I am to remember something, remember these things: faithfulness of God, the day He rescued me (salvation), the current post (season) He has assigned me to, and the people God placed in my life. The day before I heard this message, I had made a list of all the major events in my life when God proved Himself to be faithful.
Please know this. I'm not blogging all this to brag or to say that I've got it all figured out. I don't. I fall short constantly, and there's still a lot for me to learn. My faith definitely still has plenty of room to grow. I just know that in these current trials I'm facing, I can say that I have been turning to God wholeheartedly. In turn, God has been sending me these sweet, specific confirmations to let me know that I'm doing this right. This is the way He desires for me to face my troubles, to lean not on my own strength and wisdom but on His. Our health and financial challenges are not resolved yet, but bringing every ounce of it to God and trusting Him to carry them has made all the difference in the world, both in my heart and in my home. In midst of bad news, our home is filled with peace, joy, and even laughter. I have confidence that God will carry us through. I have hope.
On Thursday, I attended Celebration Sisterhood gathering at night (I know, I'm addicted). This was one of the worship songs we sang. If I can express the current condition of my heart through a song, this would definitely be it (from "The Desert Song" by Hillsong):
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Needless to say, we are still in midst of the trials I mentioned in my last post. This week, as I continued to seek God through these trials, He gave me some sweet confirmations (or encouragement) to let me know that I was on the right track, that I was handling these current situations exactly the way He wants me to.
On Wednesday, I attended our weekly Celebration Sisterhood gathering at church. Pastor Kerri spoke on the topic of endurance. Every major point she challenged us with during the message was something I experienced this past week. The following is a summary of her message and how each point related to me personally (which are typed in italics):
Endurance = not just the ability to bear the hard thing, but to turn it into glory. Quote from my last post: "this season will prove to be another testimony of His faithfulness to me."
Hebrews 12:1 (New King James Version): let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
We must set ourselves to finish strong in this race.
In order to finish strong, we should ask ourselves these five questions.
Q1 - What am I thinking about? Am I filling my mind with doubt, fear, and worry, or am I filling my mind with what are listed in Philippians 4:8 (things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and of good report)? I've been making a conscious effort to focus on the goodness of God, with childlike faith, instead of letting worry take control of my mind.
Q2 - Who am I listening to? I must abide in Jesus and His Word (John 8:31-32). When I feel overwhelmed with our situation, instead of calling a trusted friend/family immediately, I first ran to Jesus and His Word. I've also stayed away from social networking this week, and except on the days I was sick, I've been spending time with God and His Word first thing in the morning, before anyone else in the house was awake.
Q3 - What am I talking about? Am I speaking words of faith; am I confessing my hope in God (Heb 10:23)? I've been using this blog as one of the primary ways to express God's faithfulness to me.
Q4 - Where am I going? Am I planted in the house of God (Psalm 92:12-15)? Even if I wasn't feeling 100%, I made sure to make it to both Celebration Sisterhood meetings this week.
Q5 - What am I remembering? Instead of looking back, focus my eyes on where I'm headed (Philip 3:12-14). But if I am to remember something, remember these things: faithfulness of God, the day He rescued me (salvation), the current post (season) He has assigned me to, and the people God placed in my life. The day before I heard this message, I had made a list of all the major events in my life when God proved Himself to be faithful.
Please know this. I'm not blogging all this to brag or to say that I've got it all figured out. I don't. I fall short constantly, and there's still a lot for me to learn. My faith definitely still has plenty of room to grow. I just know that in these current trials I'm facing, I can say that I have been turning to God wholeheartedly. In turn, God has been sending me these sweet, specific confirmations to let me know that I'm doing this right. This is the way He desires for me to face my troubles, to lean not on my own strength and wisdom but on His. Our health and financial challenges are not resolved yet, but bringing every ounce of it to God and trusting Him to carry them has made all the difference in the world, both in my heart and in my home. In midst of bad news, our home is filled with peace, joy, and even laughter. I have confidence that God will carry us through. I have hope.
On Thursday, I attended Celebration Sisterhood gathering at night (I know, I'm addicted). This was one of the worship songs we sang. If I can express the current condition of my heart through a song, this would definitely be it (from "The Desert Song" by Hillsong):
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Fresh Strength
I am almost too tired to type this right now. When I decided to expect God for the extraordinary this year, I'm not sure if I considered all the ways He would be stretching me in order to make this happen. I am exhausted physically: I've had very little sleep these last few nights, and my body is definitely feeling the consequence. I am exhausted mentally: Peanut was sick over the weekend; as usual it was passed on to my husband and now he's sick. In addition, LittleBit's night time sleep is still unpredictable. I am exhausted emotionally: I've had a lot of highs having my girlfriends from college here this past weekend, but a big bomb of tragic news was dropped on our family as soon as they left, which brought me to the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. I am exhausted spiritually: I'm experiencing some major discouragement, and it's hard to see God's big picture and experience His joy and peace through this. All of this combined, I feel completely drained tonight, and I'm not sure if I can even think straight.
In times like this, I need to cling to truths I am sure about.
Isaiah 40:27-31 The Message: He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired...
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.
I definitely do not feel like an eagle right now. I don't feel energized. But I know that my choice is always to wait on God. I decide to trust and follow Him everyday, and I know He will never fail me.
Matthew 11:28-30 The Message: Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.
The answer is not to get buried in this exhaustion, but to come to Jesus, to walk with Him, to work with Him, and to learn from Him. I do not know how everything will play out. I don't understand everything right now. I'm feeling discouraged. I feel I don't have enough strength. However, God's promise is truer and more powerful than what I'm feeling or what I'm capable of understanding. He is the Creator of all things, and He does know everything...I don't. As long as I wait upon Him and make a conscious decision to trust Him in all this, He promises to give me fresh strength.
Lord, I need You. I trust You. I wait expectantly for Your fresh strength. I know I will not be disappointed.
Well I wrote the above post a few nights ago, and things got worse before they got better. That night, not only was my husband sick, but I also caught Peanut's stomach bug (and later found out one of the friends visiting caught it as well). We were both up all night, and somehow I nursed LittleBit in the middle of it all too. Wow, I don't know when was the last time I experienced such extreme physical condition...labor was nothing compared to what we went through that night! Having children also makes it harder to get the rest you need when you're sick. We sure went through some crash courses on what parenting brings this past week.
However, I continued to wait on God for fresh strength. We did survive the night, and things slowly improved. Within a day or two, God completely turned around the tragic news I mentioned earlier. We are all healthy again (praise God!), and thanks to my husband cleaning, our house is not a big chaotic mess anymore. We are getting some normalcy back.
I remember one time I heard from our pastor that "Too hard is good," because that's when we rely the most on God's strength. How true this was for me this past week.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 The Message: I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
In times like this, I need to cling to truths I am sure about.
Isaiah 40:27-31 The Message: He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired...
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.
I definitely do not feel like an eagle right now. I don't feel energized. But I know that my choice is always to wait on God. I decide to trust and follow Him everyday, and I know He will never fail me.
Matthew 11:28-30 The Message: Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.
The answer is not to get buried in this exhaustion, but to come to Jesus, to walk with Him, to work with Him, and to learn from Him. I do not know how everything will play out. I don't understand everything right now. I'm feeling discouraged. I feel I don't have enough strength. However, God's promise is truer and more powerful than what I'm feeling or what I'm capable of understanding. He is the Creator of all things, and He does know everything...I don't. As long as I wait upon Him and make a conscious decision to trust Him in all this, He promises to give me fresh strength.
Lord, I need You. I trust You. I wait expectantly for Your fresh strength. I know I will not be disappointed.
Well I wrote the above post a few nights ago, and things got worse before they got better. That night, not only was my husband sick, but I also caught Peanut's stomach bug (and later found out one of the friends visiting caught it as well). We were both up all night, and somehow I nursed LittleBit in the middle of it all too. Wow, I don't know when was the last time I experienced such extreme physical condition...labor was nothing compared to what we went through that night! Having children also makes it harder to get the rest you need when you're sick. We sure went through some crash courses on what parenting brings this past week.
However, I continued to wait on God for fresh strength. We did survive the night, and things slowly improved. Within a day or two, God completely turned around the tragic news I mentioned earlier. We are all healthy again (praise God!), and thanks to my husband cleaning, our house is not a big chaotic mess anymore. We are getting some normalcy back.
I remember one time I heard from our pastor that "Too hard is good," because that's when we rely the most on God's strength. How true this was for me this past week.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 The Message: I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
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